Real Common Sence

Q: What’s the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and everyone else doesn’t think they’re jokes.
Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.
Q: What’s the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the [...]

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.
 This years term:  “Political Correctness”
 “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it [...]

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me.  I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem). What I [...]

A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco .
While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it.
He took it to the old shop owner and asked, [...]

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up you shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the
Promised Land.”
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel; this is the Promised Land.”
 Now Obama has stolen [...]

“Mrs. Ward, please.”
“Speaking.”
“Mrs. Ward, this is Dr. Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband’s biopsy to the lab yesterday, another biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are uncertain which one is your husband’s. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible.”
“What do you mean?” Mrs. Ward [...]

The other day I went  downtown to run a few errands. I went into the
local coffee  shop for a snack. I was only there for about 5 minutes,
and when I came out there was this cop writing out a parking  ticket.
I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a  retired person a
break’?
He ignored me [...]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of  St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, What are all those clocks?

St. Peter answered,  Those are Lie-Clocks.  Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move. Oh, [...]

A Federal ATF officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, ‘I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.’
The old rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there.”
The ATF officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of [...]

A Harley rider is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.  Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage [...]